Depression. My Expression. An Imperfection.

So I've been set into a depressive state once again. The last time I was in such an extensive depressive state, it was about 3 months ago. Think those who are close to me should know why, when, where, and how I was depressed then. I'm able to keep away when I'm with her in the day. But the moment it turns to night and I start heading back home or doing whatever, it starts coming out. I can't seem to hide it forever. It's really painful. This imperfection of mine is really full of crap and deserves no pity nor sympathy. I just wish there was another way.